we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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