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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
