and she was petting her beer can
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
