We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The adults are the big ones right?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
