umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
