Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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