She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
