I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
