i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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