i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
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