you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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