Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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