dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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