You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
