He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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