I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
