your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
