Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize
