I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
