The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
