I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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