She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
