so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
organizing the empties. That sober.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
