You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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