My nipple is on Facebook.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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