you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
