dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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