yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
