No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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