Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize