About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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