With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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