you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
