I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize