Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize