when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
