your thong is hanging out like whoa
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
