no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
