Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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