I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
