the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
