do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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