I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize