I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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