I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
