I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
