Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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