You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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