Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
