Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize