Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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