At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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