He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Less talking, more tequila
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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