just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
