they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
