what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
