I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
