i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
