well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
